We Get It, You’re In Love

So there’s this girl I’m friends with on Facebook that always updates about how happy her boyfriend makes her and how in love she is. I’m seriously considering un-friending her for this.

My reaction every time I read one of these love-infused, excuse-me-while-I-vomit-in-my-mouth updates?

I don’t mind the occasional “I love my boyfriend/girlfriend” post, especially ones that involve a significant other doing something nice for no particular reason. I actually think that’s pretty cute. It’s the constant ones that get me. I don’t need to read about how awesome your boyfriend is every single day. Or even every other day. Or at all.

I don’t know this girl. I’ve never met her in real life. We just happened to go to the same college and some time back in the college-only days of Facebook, we became virtual friends. I also don’t know her boyfriend. But I already don’t like either of them. Her continual raving about this guy only makes me think there’s just no way he could be as great as she thinks. She’s built him up way too much. I wonder if he’s like her and posts every day about how lucky he is to have her in his life. Thankfully I’ll never know.

I used to think I was bothered by this stuff when I was bitter and single, but now I’m neither and still find them annoying and obnoxious. I get it. You’re in love and feeling good. Trust me, I understand the urge to shout off the rooftops, “I LOVE THIS PERSON! I’M SO SUBLIMELY HAPPY!” But like other urges (like say, the urge to punch these people in the face), it can and should be suppressed. At least until you find the right venue. This person you love so much? He cares. I’m sure your BFFs care too and want to hear all about your lovely love life. But your whole FB circle? Leave us out of it.

On top of my general dislike of this behavior, I’ve observed that people who make these incessant love updates break up. Sometimes months or years later, but it does happen. This has led to me the conclusion that if there’s real love there, people tend to focus on nurturing that more than announcing it to the world. If this girl suddenly cuts back on obsequious posts about her perfect boyfriend, I think there’s hope for her relationship.

I’m just sayin’.

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ETA: I came to a nice compromise and decided to keep this girl as my FB friend, but hide all her status updates, effectively saving my computer from an untimely death due to being thrown across the room by an enraged me. Since her updates no longer show up on my page, I went to her profile upon writing this post to see if she’s still posting away about her bf. She is, and it looks like it’s actually gotten worse. Her default picture is a sequence of photobooth pictures of herself and her beloved: one smiling, one goofy, and one obligatory kissing shot. On top of all three, it says love with a ginormous heart next to it. Gag me with a spoon. Also, her current status is “I love [boyfriend's name] with all my heart and I can’t wait to see him!” Funny enough, the status update just before that seems to be directed at me: “Haters only hate the things they can’t get and the people they can’t be.” Sure, keep telling yourself that. I’m not trying to be a hater, really. You’re just making it really difficult to like you.

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Got any Facebook pet peeves you’d care to share?