Hey hey hey! Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

Today we honor St. Patrick, patron saint of Ireland and of waking up early to drink. (Or maybe just the first part.)

Some fun facts for you:

Have you ever, while trying to be all cool and abbrev-y, wondered whether it’s St. Patty’s or St. Paddy’s? (I have.) Apparently both are correct.

What do shamrocks and leprechauns have to do with St. Patrick’s day? Nothing. Except they’re both widely used symbols that we Americans associate with Ireland. And St. Patrick’s Day wouldn’t a completely Irish holiday in our eyes without their inclusion. Obvi.

Did you know the color originally associated with St. Patrick was blue? Could have been drinking blue beer today instead of green. Crazy!

Did you know that the tradition of pinching those who aren’t wearing green started because St. Patrick was super kinky? Just kidding. I dunno how it started. I read this one thing that said it originated from the Irish Rebellion of 1798, when they would wear the color green as an F.U. to British oppression. But back then wearing green was punishable by hanging and if you ask me (you didn’t, but this is my blog so you will listen to every damn word I have to say!) it’s kind of a big jump from hanging to pinching. A positive jump, but still, not sure that’s where it actually came from. I mean, why would anyone want to honor that tradition? That’d be like pinching black people on Martin Luther King Jr. Day. Or would it be like pinching white people on Martin Luther King Jr. Day? I’m confusing myself. See, that’s how much linking the wearing of green on St. Patrick’s Day to the Irish Rebellion doesn’t make sense!

Another theory suggests wearing green is an American tradition that started in the 1700s under the belief that wearing green made you invisible to leprechauns, who supposedly would pinch anyone they see, so as a courtesy warning/reminder people would pinch those not wearing green. Sure.

My theory is that some nonconformist kid didn’t feel like wearing green and all the other kids ganged up and pinched him because little kids are sofrigginmean and when their teacher was like “WTF, evil children?!” they were like “Oh, it’s just the St. Patrick’s Day tradition, la la la, pinch someone if they’re not wearing green!” And then they saw that the teacher wasn’t wearing green either so they pinched her to prove their point, but not as hard as they were pinching the kid because she’s still an authority figure and could get them in trouble, and even though the teacher was like “OOWWWEEEE!” and wanted to be super pissed and make them stop, she couldn’t because la la la it’s tradition. And from then on nonconformists could be openly abused for their refusal to participate in the green-wearing day. That is also why I’m going to wear green today. I hate being pinched. The end.

Hope you have a good one!

I was going to wait until the first day of winter (Dec. 21) to post this, but the past few rainy and cold days here in LA have gotten me into that good ol’ winter mood. So here ’tis, a few days early.

…

There’s something beautiful about the rawness of winter. Everything bare, stripped to the bone. The cold that forces us inside to bundle up with those around us. The family season. The thoughtful season. Winter is our best example of how sometimes the roughest times are merely a prequel to the brightness to come.

I just discovered failblog.org. How have I not heard of this website before? (FAIL.)

Having a rough day? Check it out and get a healthy dose of schadenfreude. It’ll getcha lol’ing in no time.

Spotted this written in a bathroom stall somewhere between LA & SF:

Gee, thanks.
*blushing*
How very kind of you.

Have you ever smiled cordially at the person exiting the stall you’re about to enter and had her noticeably avoid eye contact with you?

And just as you started to wonder why, you got into the stall and smelled the reason?

I have.